


You'd Prefer An Astronaut

by HellishSam



Category: Star Stable, Star Stable Online
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Space Gays, kind of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-26 05:38:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16675540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HellishSam/pseuds/HellishSam
Summary: Daine has a bad day and struggles with who he really is.





	You'd Prefer An Astronaut

It had been a rough day for Daine. It had rained all day and it had been one of his harder work days. Not to mention his anxiety and depression had been getting worse since his ability to stay human-looking was starting to cause him troubles. The man often found himself taking ten minutes instead of two to will his eyes back to normal. The fangs and claws were worse. He didn’t even want to think of the horns, which were starting to come as easily as his eyes did. 

Wiping a dirty, wet arm across his forehead, he put his horse, Cloud, back into the stable. His clothes were uncomfortably sticking to him as he finally got out of the rain. To make it worse, Cloud decided to shake the wet off of himself, getting Daine even more wet than he already was. In frustration, Daine sighed, quickly taking the gear off. He didn’t know why he was feeling so heavy. His heart ached and the voice in his head just wouldn’t leave.

He went back over to Cloud once he put the tack away and gave him a hug. Daine felt his friend stretch one of his wings a little to hug him back. Suddenly he just collapsed in tears. He felt so terrible. So much like… a monster. His eyes already changed, his claws, teeth, and then horns started to sprout. Quickly, before Cloud could protest, he made his way out of the barn and threw his front door open, slamming it so hard he almost he broke the damn thing. Daine gave up on locking the door when his claw-fingers wouldn’t allow it. Pain shot through his body and he knew exactly what was going to happen.

Before anything else grew, he went to his bathroom and shut the door and bent over the sink, his arms shaking as bones shifted. He watched in horror as wings unfolded from his back and horns twisted from his head. Daine cried in pain as his tail then appeared. He could feel the spines of his backbone extend and turn into spikes that went down from his shoulders all the way to the end of his tail. He hated this, he hated it all. Daine covered his eyes with one hand and started to cry. Everything hurt and he hated to see himself like this. Even with Ydris living with him now, (though not married yet) he couldn’t escape the feeling of being abnormal and strange. One day he’d slip up and the druids would find him. For now, he settled with huddling in the corner of his bathroom as his body continued to finish its changes.

It had been a long day at the circus. More tiring than usual. Ydris loved to put on a good show, but he would always put his best effort in for when Daine stopped by to watch. His phoenix hadn’t shown up that day. He worried dearly about him, Daine always stopped by for at least a little while just to see what was going on. Though, at least he could now go home to see him. The pandorian never thought he’d call another place home. He didn’t even call his wagon home. Nothing had been home since he left Pandoria.

As he approached the entrance of South Hoof, Ydris could already feel something was off. He quickly put away his darling Zee then went to the house he and Daine now shared. Ydris was a bit on edge when he realised he could just push the door open. Did someone break in? Carefully, he took off his hat and coat, revealing a rather fancy vest from underneath. Before calling out, he could hear the muffled sound of sobbing. Quickly he went to where it was coming from, preparing for the worst.  
What Ydris found was not what he expected, but still surprising. There his phoenix was, shaking in the corner with his wings covering him. “Daniel? Is everything alright?” He asked, his voice thick with worry as he bent down on one knee in front of his phoenix.

Daine’s wings shuddered in response with the sound of a shaky sob. He didn’t want Ydris to see him like this, he hated it when he did. Ydris had seen him cry so many times before, he should’ve been tired of it by now. Daine could feel a slight tug at his wings and didn’t protest or struggle when they were gently opened. He opened his glowing sunset eyes to meet one blue and one purple-tinted eye. Those eyes were beautiful, something he loved to get lost in. They reminded him of supernovas, in an odd way. The magician had claimed Daine’s were like a sunset or nebula, but he didn’t believe it. Nothing of him could ever be quite as perfect.

“My phoenix, did something happen today?” Daine shook his head as more tears started to run down his face. The magician sighed as he took his gloves off then wiped Daine’s tears away with his bare hand. Daine was quite literally heated with emotion. He could see his phoenix must have just gotten done with work, judging by the amount of mud and dirt on his clothes, arms, and face. “Why don’t we take a shower? Maybe then you’ll feel better.” He carefully got up, helping Daine in the process. Ydris was just about to shed his clothing when Daine finally spoke up, his voice raspy from the tears.

“They won’t go away, they’ve been appearing more often and it’s getting harder to make them disappear.” He sniffled. Ydris looked away, sighing. This might be his fault. He immited Pandorian energy, which might have been making Daine’s abilities to keep his human form worse. For now, he would use magic to help Daine keep his chosen form. Ydris might have dearly loved Daine’s Pandorian side, but he hated to see him so upset. He knew how his phoenix thought of himself.

Once their clothing was shed and they stepped into the shower, Daine’s features still wouldn’t go back to normal. His eyes cast down as the warm water hit his horns. Daine could feel Ydris’ eyes roam over him, though not in a sexual way at all. He felt his boyfriend cup his cheek and run magic through his body to make his features sink back into his skin. Once Ydris was done, exhaustion hit him like a train and he rested his head on his boyfriend’s chest, listening to his heart beat as warm water hit his skin. He smiled a little when he heard Ydris open the shampoo bottle and start to wash his hair for him. Daine finally looked him in the eyes and let out a small chuckle. There was the laugh Ydris loved. He then gave Daine a small kiss on the forehead and went back to cleaning his messy black hair.

Once out of the shower, Daine had changed into a loose, light purple t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Ydris had thrown on a white t-shirt and black sweatpants. They both had decided to go to the kitchen for a cup of tea, but Ydris could see Daine was tired. 

“You need to take a nap, my phoenix.” He fussed as Daine looked at him, his black curly hair draping around his shoulders. Daine let out a small groan and then a yawn. 

“I really don’t.” Though it was unconvincing, Ydris could hear the fatigue in his boyfriend’s voice. He glared at Daine slightly and put more emphasis in his voice, 

“I said you need to take a nap, if you wish, I’d be happy to join you.” And he meant it, he didn’t want his boyfriend’s body today. His heart was too full of love.

Daine looked at him and then sighed. “Fine, I can go nap.” Daine didn’t like admitting he was tired, he felt as if he should have had more than enough energy with being Pandorian. But no, all he got was terrible features that made him seem like a monster. Though, he had to admit, when his body finally rested on the mattress, it felt nice. With a simple yawn, he drifted off into sleep.

It was late when the nightmares started. The couple’s simple nap had turned into sleep. Ydris was awoken by Daine talking in his sleep. Whispering things at first, then he started to speak fully, then the yelling started. The magician knew he couldn’t wake Daine up. The last time he tried, Daine had leaped up and almost choked and burned him. It caused the magician to use a bit of magic to get Daine back to normal. He’d never tell Daine but he still had burn marks on his neck from when that happened, the magician hid the marks with magic. He knew the scars would heal but it would take time. Though right now he needed to think fast on how to calm his phoenix down before he set himself aflame or hurt himself.

Using his magic, he carefully looked into what Daine was dreaming about. Immediately Ydris’ pupils went into slits with sadness and anger. Daine was reliving the time he went from a beautiful burning phoenix to Icarus. Gently, he placed a hand on Daine’s chest and everything went dark.

Daine shook in fear as his vision darkened. He was going to die. He was going to die in his nightmare. The man braced himself for the worst. Instead, he felt… nothing. No, not nothing. There was a slight chill to the air and he felt as if he was holding himself in a shallow puddle but wasn’t getting wet. Slowly he opened his eyes and jumped when he saw where he was sitting. It was an astral plane. Looking around he saw millions and billions of stars. The sky faded from dark violet to a slightly lighter blue. It reflected perfectly on the water that was underneath his bare feet, making it seem like there wasn’t a ground at all, just space. 

Looking at himself, he also seemed to be made of stars. Daine still looked like himself but he was just slightly transparent. Though he noticed he was full Pandorian here. Skin, no, fur tinted the slightest bit of light purple, eyes glowing and shifting colors, long claws, and horns that seemed to have grown longer that curled in different directions. His ears also changed and the feathers on his chest now clashed with his new fur. 

He examined his arms and the more he examined the more his hands looked like a mix between of what they were before and paws. If Daine had thought he was a monster before, he definitely was now. His fangs had grown so long that they stuck out from under his lips. But his wings, his wings had changed. They were no longer feathers. Instead they seemed to be a darker version of the astral plane that stretched further than his last pair. He watched in awe as he moved them, the stars in them shifting. He felt like he belonged here, truly.

“You look so beautiful now, my phoenix.” Daine let out a gasp and made a quick movement to turn around. He stumbled a bit, his reflexes seemed to have enhanced as well. There Ydris was, also looking half transparent and made of stars. Daine took a step back, pinning his ears back. Ydris had also changed and he was simply amazing. 

Daine noticed that he had obviously grown a little taller. The magician had dark dragon-like wings that were shades of violet, reminding him of the night Ydris had taken him outside of the wagon and Daine dared to kiss him. His skin had been replaced with dark violet-blue scales that were iridescent and appeared to have a pinch of multiple colors that faded to an extremely dark purple, almost black.

His eyes trailed up to his head and face. His hair stayed but he had black horns that also reflected purple and twisted in many directions that then branched off of each other. His eyes stood out like lights from his dark body. It made Daine shiver at how much they glowed and how his sclera had turned to be as pitch black as the night. Finally, Daine rested his eyes on the large reptilian tail that was longer than his own and lashed around. Daine only wished he could look as magnificent. Maybe he would like it a lot more than being called a furry by his friends.

Ydris could feel Daine’s eyes burn through him. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought Daine here, looking like this. But seeing his phoenix in his purest form was worth it, even at the sacrifice of looking like a demon. Finally, Daine spoke up. “You… look amazing.” He was in awe. 

The lighter Pandorian walked towards the other, the sound of water splashing echoed through the plane. Finally, he reached Ydris and cupped his face with a clawed hand. If he thought Ydris was beautiful before, this was nothing compared to then. Daine had no words to describe what he thought.

“You see, my phoenix. I am not much different than you. But I am more of a monster than you, no matter how much your mind likes to torture you with the thought.” Ydris said, his voice echoing, almost sounding doubled. Daine felt as if he could cry again. This wasn’t fair, not fair at all. He hated looking at himself, he hated the fur and wings that sprouted from his skin. And here Ydris was, someone beautiful telling him that he somehow looked better. Before he could say anything, Ydris kissed him. His breath was warm and made him feel safe in this chilled place.

The magician pulled away ever so slightly, still very close to Daine. “I love you, Daniel, no matter how much of a monster you think you are.” The half Pandorian caught the breath of those words. He could combust into flames with the passion burning in his chest. Maybe he wasn’t the monster he thought he was after all… maybe he really was something wonderful. Something… beautiful. He may have not been as beautiful as Aideen with her golden hair, but he was beautiful in other ways, and he was beautiful to someone who cared about him. A smile crossed his face as the hot tears traced down his face.

Ydris held him there for a while in his arms, stroking his raven colored hair. Daine kept his eyes closed, purring. The heat that came from Ydris was comforting, but he opened his sunset colored eyes when light shown. The astral plane was now tinted orange with a bright light slowly rising up. Daine’s eyes went into slits, letting the light fill his vision.

“Mon amour, the sun is rising. I think we should go back to the real world.” Daine hated to go back, he wanted to stay here. He felt so calm, no worry or anxiety. But he nodded and his vision went dark again.

The man slowly blinked his eyes open as the sunlight shown through his window. But he wasn’t looking at the window, he was looking at the man who loved him more than anyone else. Daine moved close to him, whispering a thank you. Here they both looked normal and Daine had finally got to see what Ydris looked like under his skin. But for the first time, he was okay with what he looked like under his own skin. Yet again, Ydris managed to make him feel so much better about his real self. He was finally learning to love himself again.


End file.
